Preparing for Marriage

What makes a marriage?

Marriage is not just about marrying the right person, it is also about being the right partner

We hope that here you will find food for thought as you prepare for your marriage.

What is marriage?

Is it a way to fulfillment?

an alliance between two families?
a promise of everlasting love?
sex on demand?
an outmoded convention?

Why choose to get married?

To make a permanent commitment?
to have a big wedding?
to bring up children?
to please the parents?

What makes a marriage work?

Being in love; having the same interests, spending time together, being physically attracted, having the same sense of humour, getting married in church, learning to admit that you are wrong, being prepared to work at it, still being two individuals....

which of these is important to you?
anything you would add?

Getting the balance

Marriage can be difficult if one partner feels that he or she is making more effort than the other.

How often do you:

think "poor old me"
say "poor old you"
want support
make time to give support
say "do you love me?"
say "I love you"
say "I am sorry"
accept an apology
say "must you always...."
say "thank you"
think "you just don't understand"
feel "I don't understand him/her"

Are there things you can't talk about with your partner?

What do you expect?

Expectations about marriage are different in each generation, but people often learn a lot from their parents' marriage.

Are there things about your parents or in-laws marriages that you want to avoid in your own marriage?

Are there things that you would like to copy?

We all have some expectations - some obvious, some so hidden that we don't realise them ourselves. for example:

How much space do you need?
How much space does your partner need?
Do you agree about your needs for privacy?
What are your expectations for your marriage?
What are your fears?